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Lazy Cat Farm: June 2009
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Searching for solace in a cold old house. Tuesday, June 30, 2009. Our dear friends from around the country, like they did last year, last time, are showering us with gifts in preparation for the arrival of our baby. Of course we have nearly everything we need already. We have had it for a year and need to dust some of it off. But even though this baby won’t have his big brother’s in person influence, he is forever linked through circumstance to Baker. If Baker had lived, we would certainl...This past wee...
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Lazy Cat Farm: July 2009
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Searching for solace in a cold old house. Saturday, July 25, 2009. The relative ease of my pregnancy with Alden and his birth-in the sense that it was another normal, healthy fullterm pregnancy-makes me realize what a waste it was to lose Baker. He could so easily be here-he should be here-if not for what was likely an unknown, unseen kink in the cord. Similar pregnancies, similar babies, but completely different outcomes. Friday, July 10, 2009. I think that we babylost parents need to invent a symbol or...
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Lazy Cat Farm: May 2009
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Searching for solace in a cold old house. Wednesday, May 27, 2009. We just booked a flight for Labor Day weekend, and I had to maneuver the mouse to the little pull down menu that says, "and infant." That gave me pause. We tried this whole "and infant" thing last year, as we planned to bring what would have been a 3 month old Baker with us on family vacation to the islands. That infant didn't make the trip with us, so it feels impossibly optimistic that this next one will either. Thursday, May 7, 2009.
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Lazy Cat Farm: Setting it in Stone
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Searching for solace in a cold old house. Friday, April 2, 2010. Setting it in Stone. It has been two years since our dear Baker left us empty and alone in that recovery room. We know without a calendar that the anniversary is upon us. The light changes and the crocus and daffodil find the courage to poke their heads above winter’s remains. The flowers’ vibrant colors, transplanted from Baker's funeral arrangements into our garden, usher in our season of sorrow. What do you say for eternity? Dalene and I...
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Lazy Cat Farm: January 2009
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Searching for solace in a cold old house. Sunday, January 25, 2009. Thursday, January 22, 2009. If you have spent any time at all in the woods you’ll come across a tree like this one that I found down the hill last weekend. This black birch started growing here years ago, from a seed dispersed by the wind across the snow in midwinter, one of them coming to land and take root. Friday, January 16, 2009. Sheltered from the Wind. The Farm is at 1,300 feet in an area that has been referred to as the snow belt...
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Lazy Cat Farm: April 2010
http://lazycatfarm.blogspot.com/2010_04_01_archive.html
Searching for solace in a cold old house. Friday, April 2, 2010. Setting it in Stone. It has been two years since our dear Baker left us empty and alone in that recovery room. We know without a calendar that the anniversary is upon us. The light changes and the crocus and daffodil find the courage to poke their heads above winter’s remains. The flowers’ vibrant colors, transplanted from Baker's funeral arrangements into our garden, usher in our season of sorrow. What do you say for eternity? Dalene and I...
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Lazy Cat Farm: Sweet relief
http://lazycatfarm.blogspot.com/2009/07/sweet-relief.html
Searching for solace in a cold old house. Saturday, July 25, 2009. The relative ease of my pregnancy with Alden and his birth-in the sense that it was another normal, healthy fullterm pregnancy-makes me realize what a waste it was to lose Baker. He could so easily be here-he should be here-if not for what was likely an unknown, unseen kink in the cord. Similar pregnancies, similar babies, but completely different outcomes. This comment has been removed by the author. July 31, 2009 at 2:50 PM. Alden is ju...
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Lazy Cat Farm: December 2008
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Searching for solace in a cold old house. Thursday, December 25, 2008. Monday, December 22, 2008. Two things you won't find in my kitchen: frozen peas and sage. What do I have against them? Let's just say they evoke certain memories-memories that, unlike the feel of Baker's achingly soft cheeks and fuzzy head, I would rather not remember. I read somewhere, perhaps Glow in the Woods. Sunday, December 21, 2008. Someone asked me who the Lazy Cat is. Thursday, December 18, 2008. The “How are you doing? We in...
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Lazy Cat Farm: February 2009
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Searching for solace in a cold old house. Thursday, February 26, 2009. Platitudes not welcome here. Tuesday, February 24, 2009. Many thanks to Carly, mother of Christian, for honoring Baker. On a seashore far, far away from here. Thursday, February 12, 2009. Ever feel like you have so much to say that you could never get it all out? Subscribe to: Posts (Atom). Platitudes not welcome here. Glow in the woods. I lost a World. Still life with circles. I Won't Fear Love. The Happy Sad Mama. Mrs Spit Spouts Off.
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Lazy Cat Farm: April 2009
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Searching for solace in a cold old house. Sunday, April 26, 2009. Dear Diary: April 26, 2008. From my journal one year ago today:. This morning, I discovered the birthday cake I made to celebrate Baker. Mom had put the two halves in the freezer. I baked it on April 2nd while in labor. He was alive and kicking then. I threw it in the trash and cried. To our two boys, and we were both mercifully asleep by 11:31 pm, the time that Baker was born without breath. Saturday, April 25, 2009. April 25, 2008. And I...
